The Draft
by writergirl1995
Summary: Sam has a draft in her email drafts box. It's addressed to Freddie. I'm so bad at summaries… Anyway, she is considering sending it, but then Freddie calls her because he has some news for her that he and Carly have to tell her. What could it be?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes: Okay, this was originally going to be really short, and Seddie only, but then a new idea blossomed in my head, and now it's really long. Here's the summary of the story.**

**Name: The Draft**

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: Talk of rape**

**Point of view: Sam**

**Pairings: I can't tell you that, it will ruin the story!**

**Word count: 6511**

**Page count on Microsoft Word: 25 ½ **

**Ages: Sam – 16, Freddie and Carly – 15**

**Disclaimer: Don't own iCarly**

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I stared at the email. I knew I would have to send it at some point. It had been nearly nine years since I met the dork, and if he wasn't aware of my feelings yet, I would have to tell him soon before Carly actually started to love him back. Every time I told him that Carly would never love him, it was merely because I was trying to get him to get over it and move on to other girls… like me. Not like he'd ever consider me in the first place… sigh…

I quickly read through the email that had sat in my draft box for three years, ever since we started iCarly.

_Freddie, if you're reading this, stop right now unless I mysteriously vanished off the face of the planet._

_I'm serious._

_STOP._

_RUN AWAY._

_How did this get in your email inbox?!_

_I'm going to kill you if you don't stop reading right now._

_Unless, of course, I told you that you could. (Why would I?!)_

_I'm not kidding, you know._

_Don't you have anything better to do?!_

_GET OUTTA HERE!_

_TAKE MY WARNINGS TO HEART._

_And if you're not Freddie, then what in the name of ham are you doing here? HOW ARE YOU READING THIS IF YOU'RE NOT HIM?! Wait…_

_Gibby… you'd better not have somehow hacked either mine or Freddie's computer…_

_Anyway, even if you are Fredward, what are you doing here?!_

_FINE. Since you're SO persistent, just read the dang email._

_Freddie,_

_If this ever reaches you, which will only happen if someone hacks my computer, because I'm definitely not sending it to you, I love you._

_I have loved you for a while now, and I was afraid to tell you from what you might think of me. I mean, you basically hate me, so what would you do if you found out I loved you? Probably commit suicide or something like that. Ugh… I'm hungry. I need some ham. I'll finish this once I'm back._

_Yum… okay. I'm back. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, right._

_So yeah, I kind of love you. No, not kind of. I was just hiding it with insults. I really love you, possibly even more than ham. I know, big shocker. ___

_Wait, does this mean you're going to make me choose between you and ham? GASP! ___

_Okay, whatever, whatever. So, I know we kind of have some frienemyship going on here… one second we're friends, the next we're enemies, and the next second… we're still enemies… okay. So we're enemies most of the time. But I cherish the moments that we're friends. I just wish that it wasn't a habit for me to anger you… you look incredibly cute when you're angry. _

_I don't care if I am a year older than you… thanks to me having to repeat third grade… wow. I'm shocked at myself. Anyway, I don't care if I'm older. To me that doesn't matter. Whenever I see my name, Sam Puckett, I automatically picture it with Freddie Benson, together forever. No, I'm not going all romantic and mushy on you… that's not my style. But I'm serious about what I just said. _

_I would rather die with you than live without you. If you died and while you were dying you asked me to live for you, I wouldn't be able to do it. Living a life without you would be agony._

_Carly doesn't know I love you. That makes me afraid sometimes that she will go against one of the girl codes which is 'don't date your best friend's crush'. But I don't think I could tell her. She just won't understand. _

_From your not-so-secret admirer anymore because if you read this, you found out,_

_Sam Puckett_

_P.S. If you read this, which I highly hope you didn't, but at the same time I wish you did, then don't talk to me about it EVER unless you want to tell me you love me too. GOT IT? Thank you. By the way, if you ever do talk to me about it, then I'll kill you. Not literally, because I love you, but you know what I mean. I'll probably just give you a Texas wedgie or something._

_P.P.S. Gibby, seriously, if you're somehow reading this, I'm going to murder you, revive you, and murder you again. I'm not even kidding._

_P.P.P.S. Gibby, if you somehow are reading this, again, HOW?! Did you hack mine or Freddie's computer? And why would you care about my love life anyway? And if you even DARE to try and blackmail me with this, then I will do the aforementioned in my P.P.S. _

_P.P.P.P.S. I don't even know your middle name. I'm such a bad secret admirer._

_Whatever! Email's over already!_

I couldn't help but laugh at my ranting at Gibby. I crack myself up.

My phone rang. I slammed my laptop shut and looked over at the caller ID.

Heh, speak of the dork.

I picked up the phone.

"What's up, Fredweird?" I said. He let out an outraged cry.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Caller ID. I'm shocked, Fredward! The techno geek hasn't heard of caller ID?"

"I've heard of it! I have it! I just wouldn't know that _you_, of all people, would have it installed."

"You were sadly misinformed. Now, what did you want anyway?" I asked. There was silence on Freddie's end. Not so much silence on my end. My mom and her new boyfriend were running all over the house, drunk, looking for me. I just locked myself in my room. Thank the name of ham for locks. Finally Freddie spoke.

"Well… Carly and I have something to tell you," he said slowly. I raised one eyebrow, though I knew he couldn't see it. He and Carly have something to tell me? That could mean many things… some good, some bad.

"And it's so important that you can't tell me over the phone, and instead you want me to come over to Carls' place?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you call me, instead of Carly?" I asked, curiosity coming through.

"No real reason," he said, though I could tell there was something behind it. I shrugged it off.

"Okay, I'll be over in a few minutes."

"Don't you live like, forever away?"

"It's called taking the bus, dork. And I only live ten miles away. Geez."

"Mom says that taking the bus is bad for your health."

"Yeah, well your mom's not my mom. I was BORN on a bus, for your information."

"I really didn't need to know that. I'll talk to you when you get here. Bye," he said, sounding disgusted, then hung up.

"Goodbye, I love you," I whispered, though I knew his phone was already in his backpack.

I turned around, putting on my coat and shoes, and was all ready to walk out the door when I remembered one tiny little detail.

I had no way to escape here without being noticed by mom or her boyfriend.

I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to get out.

A few minutes passed, and I still had no idea come into my mind. I sighed, picking up my phone and dialing Freddie.

"Yes, Sam?" I heard him say.

"I'm… kind of confined to my room."

"Your mom finally realized everything you were doing wrong and sent you to your room?" he said, and I heard him snicker.

"No! My mom and her new boyfriend just happen to be REALLY drunk, raging about the house, looking for me. If I leave my room, they'll notice me and… I really don't want to get into details," I said, trailing off. He gasped, as he seemed to realize what I was implying.

"You mean they'll…?" he spoke, barely a whisper.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Sam…"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever been caught by them in the past?"

"Only once. My mom has had a lot of boyfriends, and one of them happened to be really sneaky. He managed to find me… but I escaped just as he was… yeah."

"Oh gosh… I feel really bad for you now. And I thought my life was cruel."

"Your life is heaven compared to mine."

"No wonder you sleep over at Carly's so much."

"Yeah. Now, I need a plan to get out of here."

"Window?" he suggested. I could tell by his tone of voice that he was hoping he could come up with the simplest option ever that I wasn't able to think of.

"Don't have one," I said, smirking.

"Oh. Uh… I've got it! Do you keep a hammer in your room?"

"Never go without it."

"Is your room near the stairs?"

"Open my door, the stairs are right there."

"Is there a really expensive glass object near the bottom of the stairs?" he said, his excitement of being able to think of a plan leaking into his voice. I was impressed.

"I like the way you think, Fredward."

"So throw the hammer at the expensive glass object—"

"Whoa, hold up there, cowboy. I said I liked the way you thought, not that there was an expensive glass object," I said, smirking again.

"Aw…"

"I'm just messing with you! Yeah, there is one."

"Sam! Ugh… whatever. Throw the hammer at the expensive glass object, and it should provide a reasonable distraction. Your mom and her boyfriend will rush to it, and you'll sneak down the hall, and out a different window in the upper story."

"I like your plan, dork. But there's one flaw."

"What?" he asked worriedly.

"How am I supposed to get my hammer back?" He laughed.

"I'll buy you a new one. One that's even bigger than the one you have. Deal?"

"Deal. I'll see you in a few," I said, then hung up. Wow. The dork really could be bad when he wanted to be. And now he owed me a new hammer, even though I could easily get my first one back later.

Now, time to put my plan to action. All right, all right! Freddie's plan! Gosh.

I pulled my hammer out from under my bed, and carefully unlocked the door. Before opening it, I listened to make sure that Mom and her boyfriend weren't there, waiting. I opened it carefully. Glancing around the hall quickly, and seeing that no one was there, I took careful aim for the glass vase that was on the small table at the bottom of the stairs. I let my arm move backwards, then I swung it forwards, my fingers loosening their grip on the hammer.

Something grabbed my wrist. The hammer flew out of my grasping fingers, missing the vase completely.

"What do you think you're doing, little lady?" My heart stopped. Crap. It was her boyfriend that I had never bothered to learn the name of. I slowly turned around, seeing his face ridiculously close to mine, his breath smelling of beer and his dark eyes clouded over with lust.

"Practicing my aim. Gotta keep my arm strong, you know." I didn't know what I was saying, my mind was just making up lies. It was pretty automatic now.

"Why not go outside?"

"Nothing to target."

"Well, why don't you just come with me? I got a little something to show you," he said, and began pulling me to my mom's bedroom.

"Sure. Can I get a drink first?" I asked, a new plan coming up in my mind.

"A drink?" He pulled a small bottle of beer out of his pocket.

"No, not that kind of drink… just some water," I said hastily, flinching away from the alcohol.

"I don't know…"

"It will only take a minute!" I said, and before he could reply, I fled into the bathroom, locking the door. I turned on the faucet before he could become suspicious. I whipped my phone out of my pocket.

"_Freddie!" _I whispered urgently into the phone.

"You're calling me Freddie? This must be important! What is it?" I heard him try to make a joke, and, of course, fail miserably.

"This isn't funny, Freddie! Her boyfriend found me. I just locked myself in the bathroom. I have no way out!"

"Holy crap…" I heard his voice become stricken with worry.

"Freddie… I'm scared…" I said, barely speaking. I was shocked at what I was saying. Sam Puckett, scared? What kind of world was this?

"Uh… hold on, I'll tell Carly!"

"Freddie!"

"How thirsty are you?" called… Oh! Now I remembered his name. Libak.

"Very!" I said loudly, my voice shaking.

"Sam?" came a female voice from my phone.

"Carly?" I said, petrified.

"Is what Freddie just said true?" she asked.

"If he just said I'm about to get most likely raped by my mother's boyfriend, then yes." I heard Carly take a sharp intake of breath.

"He just said you were in big trouble. I didn't know this is what he meant! Sam… has this always been going on?" I could tell she was expecting me to say no. But I just couldn't bring myself to lie.

"Yeah… kind of… but there hasn't been a close shave like this one in a while." I said, automatically rubbing the back of my neck.

"IN A WHILE?!" she shrieked. "SAM! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?!"

"Eh… it never came to mind."

"SAMANTHA PUCKETT! YOU WILL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE WHEN YOU GET OVER HERE… oh right. You can't get over here… Oh no…"

"Oh yes. Now I need help!"

"Sam, you have a phone right there! You're holding it! Call the police!"

"Carly… you're talking to a girl that's been arrested three times. The police aren't about to help me."

"Sam, yes they will… ugh. Fine. What do you want me to do?" said Carly, finally calming down somewhat.

"I was hoping you could tell me," I said sheepishly. I heard Carly groan.

"Okay, me, Freddie, Spencer, and Freddie's mom will be coming over there to get you. Freddie will bring the baseball bat." On Carly's side of the line I heard the sound of a car engine starting.

"Seriously, Carly? Fredward's mom? She's like… insane!"

"Actually, Freddie told me she's an undercover police officer. And she does know that you've been arrested, but she's still willing to help you."

"Okay, well…" There was a bang on the bathroom door.

"Hurry up in there! I'll break this door down!" called Libak.

"Hurry. You got like two minutes to get over here. Come! NOW!" I hissed into the phone, then hung up, intent on somehow barricading the door. I wondered briefly why Freddie had told Carly that his mom was actually a police officer and not told me, but I brushed it off. I would think about that later.

With my amazing strength, I ripped the towel rack off the wall and wedged it under the door handle, just so it would be immovable. Then I pulled down the shower rack and put it up against the door, which was thankfully in a small indent, so I could lock the ends of the rack in the corners of the indent, stopping the door from being able to be opened.

"What the… someone's breaking in!" I heard Libak say and race down the stairs. I raised my eyebrows, impressed. They were fast. I yanked my barricade out of the way and unlocked the door, rushing out.

"Freddie! Carly! Spencer! Mrs. Benson! Help!" I called, running down the stairs.

"Oh, no you don't!" said Libak, grabbing the back of my shirt. I screamed.

"Get away from her!" Mrs. Benson rushed up with Freddie's baseball bat and whacked him on the head, knocking him out, which caused his grip on me to be released.

"Huh, Mrs. Benson, I never would have thought you had it in you," I said warily.

"Let's just get you back to Carly's place. You're going to be staying there from now on," she said, turning to me.

"From now on? You mean like, for the rest of forever?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Gather up your belongings. Your mother has no parenting skills, and does not deserve to have you here. So gather up everything that you want to bring, and pack it quickly," she said.

"Thank you," I said. For the first time when I have been standing in my house, I smiled. Then I turned and ran up the stairs again into my room, quickly gathering together my possessions. I didn't have many, just my laptop, some clothes, my secret stash of ham, and of course, my hammer that I snatched up and put into my backpack once I came back downstairs. Libak was being handcuffed by Mrs. Benson as I approached them.

"You have no proof of anything!" he shouted.

"We have Sam as the victim. She may lie constantly, but she would never lie about something as serious as this," said Freddie.

"I didn't do anything!" he protested.

"You were about to!" I said, breaking in. "This has almost happened to me more times than anyone can imagine! And I know what you were about to do!"

"Right. I just called the regular police force to come pick this man up, and I'll take you back to Bushwell," said Mrs. Benson. I nodded gratefully, as Mrs. Benson tied up Libak. My mom came down the stairs, shocked at what was going on.

"What is this?!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your boyfriend under arrest for nearly raping your daughter, and I'm going to have to take Sam out of your custody because you cannot take care of her. You nearly starve her at times," said Mrs. Benson.

"So that's why you always take as much food as possible from our fridge," said Carly. I nodded, half-smiling. Mrs. Benson soon had Libak tied up next to each other on the ground just as the police drove in. They charged into the house, taking said tied up Libak away. My mom shook her head, knowing better than to mess with the police.

"Now let's get you out of here," said Spencer, and we all left my house and piled into the police cruiser that Mrs. Benson apparently owned. She and Spencer got into the front, and the three of us got into the back. Freddie sat in the middle, and Carly and I sat on either side of him.

"I still can't believe this has happened to you many times before…" said Carly angrily as we started driving, very slowly, might I add. I shuddered.

"Yeah… my life sucks," I said, yawning. It was pretty late at night, and soon the three of us were all yawning together.

"Yawns… are contagious…" said Carly, and we all laughed and yawned at the same time. I felt my eyes drooping shut, and I automatically leaned towards the nearest heat source, which happened to be Freddie. Hardly having any knowledge of what I was doing, my head hit his shoulder and I was out in seconds.

I don't know how much time passed, but soon, I felt my soft pillow shift under me, and seemed to move out of the way, so my head nearly dropped to the seat. I sat up, startled, and saw that Freddie had shifted over to Carly, who was sleeping on his shoulder as well. He laid his head on top of hers, putting his arm around her. They were both sound asleep.

A tear slid down my cheek involuntarily. Was this what they were going to tell me? That they were together? Most likely. I had always somehow known it would happen… that the perfect couple would get together and leave me as the third wheel, the unneeded extra. I leaned my head down against the door of the car, trying to prevent the tears now running down my face.

Suddenly a loud snore came from the front seat. I giggled, pressing my hands against my mouth. I wiped my eyes, and then turned to Freddie out of habit and shook him. He blinked, but sat up. Carly moved her head to the car door.

"Time for Wake Up Spencer," I said, trying to stifle a laugh. He raised an eyebrow, but then started to laugh as well as Spencer began snoring even more loudly. We slowly leaned forward, around his seat.

"3… 2… 1… SPENCER!!" we shouted. Carly somehow miraculously stayed asleep, and Mrs. Benson was fighting a smile as she drove. I had a feeling she was taking the long way home. Spencer jerked awake, but at the same time, he was still asleep.

"Spencer! Where's my fladoodle?" asked Freddie, making his voice sound like a cowboy.

"Your fladoodle… went to the—"

"Spencer! Someone's hacking your refrigerator!" I said, as we laughed.

"Get away…! Hackers! Go get the fladoodles in the refrigerator…"

"The hobos can't speak Spanish!" said Freddie.

"The fladoodles… need to teach the Spanish hackers…"

"What are you guys doing?" asked Carly, waking up. Spencer fell asleep again as soon as we stopped talking.

"Nothing," we said simultaneously. Carly shrugged.

"We're back," said Mrs. Benson. She leaned over and shook Spencer, who quickly woke up.

"What? Where'd the Spanish fladoodles…? Oh. We're back here," said Spencer. Freddie and I both laughed silently, while Carly just looked confused.

"You must have weird dreams, Spencer," she said. Spencer shrugged and we all got out and went inside, ignoring the screams of rage from Lewbert for waking him up in the middle of the night. We took the elevator and went directly into Carly's apartment.

"Thanks again, you guys," I said.

"Well, what can I say," said Mrs. Benson, "I couldn't really let my son's girlfriend's best friend be in trouble."

I inhaled sharply, even though I was expecting it.

"_MOM_! We were going to tell her!" whined Freddie. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, then opened them again when I was sure I had regained my composure.

"So… you two are actually together?" I asked, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"Yeah. Carly finally realized that she really loved me," said Freddie. I nodded, smiling to cover up my pain.

"I'm tired," I said simply, walking upstairs.

"I'm sleeping in the studio, Carls!" I called, grabbing a blanket and pillow out of a closet. As soon as I reached the studio, I slammed the door shut and locked it. I set up my little bed on the ground, and snuggled into it, grabbing my remote and turning the lights off. Then I let the tears flow.

--**The next morning**--

"Sam! Sam! Open the door! SAM!"

I groaned and rolled over, seeing Carly banging on the door to the studio. I raised an eyebrow; she could have just taken the elevator. I rolled my eyes, but got up and opened the door.

"What was that about?" she asked. I shrugged.

"No reason."

"Well, it's time for breakfast. We're having eggs and bacon." I stood up straight.

"Turkey bacon?"

"The one and only."

"Let's go," I said, and we went downstairs. I glanced around hurriedly; the dork wasn't here. Although concluding the fact that it was summer, he'd probably be here in—

"Hey Carly, hey Sam," said Freddie as he walked through the door. I nodded at him as a hello.

"Hi, Freddie!" said Carly excitedly, running up to him and giving him a hug. He returned it eagerly, and I looked away. Spencer looked at me, and I wasn't sure if he could tell what I was feeling, but he seemed sympathetic.

"Breakfast is served!" he said, dishing out the eggs and glorious turkey bacon onto four plates. I was at my seat first, and I waited until everyone sat down until I began to stuff my face. Hey, I had to have some manners.

I finished in a matter of seconds. I stood up quickly.

"Thank you for breakfast," I said to Spencer. Everyone stared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You never thank anyone for food," stated Carly. I shrugged.

"I can be nice when I decide to be," I said, then turned away.

"Hey, Sam, can I talk to you for a minute? I have a new idea for a sculpture that I want to know if you like," asked Spencer.

"Why ask me?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.

"It involves ham."

"Ah. Lead the way, Spence." Spencer got up and showed me to his room, leaving Carly and Freddie in the kitchen, finishing their food. He shut the door behind me.

"So where is this hammy sculpture?" I asked, rubbing my hands together. Spencer looked a little sheepish.

"Actually… there isn't one. I just had to think of an excuse to get you in here so I could talk to you alone," he said.

"Wow, Spencer, I'm impressed. You managed to lie convincingly! For the first time! That's a big step for you!" I said, clapping my hands approvingly.

"Yeah, yeah, now let me talk to you. I know you like Freddie," he said. My jaw dropped.

"How?" I said, barely speaking above a whisper.

"I saw the pain in your eyes, Sam. And I'm really sorry that you have to go through this," he said. I nodded, my gaze dropping to the floor.

"You need to tell him." My gaze turned into a glare as it met Spencer's eyes.

"_What?_ Are you insane?" I said.

"On occasion, but not this time. If you don't want to tell him to his face, send him an email or something. But he needs to know. He has to make his choice between you and Carly."

"He'd pick Carly. He loves her to the end of the world," I said.

"Trust me on this one, Sam. For once, please, take my advice," he said, and then left the room, leaving me shocked. I quickly recovered and ran up to the studio, fishing my laptop out of my bag. I went onto my email and checked the draft once more. Finally, I added two more P.S.'s at the very end, right before the 'whatever. Email's over.'

_P.P however many more P's there are S. I know that you love Carly, but I just had to send this to you. You needed to know that I loved you as well. _

_P.P. oh who cares any more S. You still owe me another hammer. Even though I got my other one back, you still promised me another one._

I took a deep breath, positioning the mouse cursor over the 'send' button. I held my finger above the mouse button, trying to make myself click it.

"I can't do it!" I exclaimed, dropping my hands and getting ready to quit off the email.

"_Your email has been sent."_

"WHAT?! NO! CRAP!"

I slammed my laptop shut and ran over to the door, sneaking downstairs. I peeked carefully around the corner before coming the rest of the way down. Carly and Freddie were sitting on the couch, and… oh crap, Freddie had his laptop out.

"I'm going to check to see if we have any new comments," said Freddie. Carly stood up.

"I'll be right back. I have to go with Spencer to pick up some new pieces for his sculpture. Don't let Sam murder you while we're gone," said Carly. She and Spencer went out the door. I stared at Freddie, slowly coming down the rest of the stairs with the stealth of a ninja. I didn't get too close to Freddie, just enough that I could see over his shoulder what he was doing on his laptop. But I had to be careful; if I got too close, he would hear or feel my breath or my heart that was beating way too fast. It looked like he was now checking his email.

"Huh? From Sam? Why would Sam send me an email?" said Freddie. He clicked on my email, and I went back upstairs quickly, locking myself in the bathroom with my laptop, waiting for his reply to my email.

"_Freddie has invited you to chat. Chat has been automatically accepted."_

"What?! Ugh… why did we both have to use Gmail? And how can it be automatically accepted?"

"_Hey Sam." _came the popup of Freddie typing.

"_Fredward." _I replied.

"_What was that about?"_

"_What was what about?"_

"_You know very well what I'm talking about."_

"_I do?"_

"_Yes. I mean the email." _

My heart started pounding even more.

"_What about it?"_

"_SAM! What do you mean, what about it? This is important!"_

"_Yeah, it's _so _important. The tough girl is in love with the dork. How exciting."_

"_Sam, this is serious! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"_

"_Re-read the email. That will answer your question."_

"_Actually, I… uh… kind of stopped reading at "I love you."_

"_FREDWARD! When someone sends you a love letter, you have to read it all! If you don't, it's disrespectful! And we all know how much you hate disrespect!"_

"_Only from you!"_

"_Just read the rest of the dang email, Fredweird."_

"_Okay… give me a minute…"_

I chuckled. Leave it to Freddie to do something like this.

"_Sam…"_

"_What(I say in a harsh voice)?"_

"_(chuckles) No need to be harsh."_

"_Sure there is."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah. Whether I love you or not, you're still the dork of all dorks." _

"_Whatever! So… I… read the rest of the email. Sam… I… don't know what to say."_

"_Why? You finally have your dream girl, who just happens to be little miss perfect Carly Shay, and so you two get together, leaving me as the unneeded extra who just needs to go jump off a cliff so you two can get some gosh darn privacy!" _

"_SAM! Listen to me! If you had… told me sooner… you could have prevented this! For the longest time, I liked you as well."_

My heart dropped down to my feet.

"_Liked… as in… past tense?"_

"_Heh… yeah… I had liked you, ever since I hit puberty, I just randomly did these weird things to tell Carly I loved her because I still hoped that I could have her if you refused. But I never worked up the courage to tell you, and now Carly just finally took her chance. I still love her, and… once she finally decided to go out with me, all my feelings for you just kind of flew out the window. I'm really sorry."_

I took a deep breath. This… was… worse than I could have ever imagined. I wouldn't have to deal with this right now if only I had told him sooner… why hadn't I? I was such an idiot!

"_Is it possible that you could regain feelings for me?"_

"_I'm not sure. Maybe if Carly randomly broke up with me." _

"_Okay. That's all. One more thing… That kiss a few months ago… That was the best day of my life. The day I finally got to kiss Fredward Benson. And for my first kiss, no less."_

"_I'm glad you were my first kiss too, Sam."_

"_End of conversation."_

"_Wait… where are you?"_

"_None of your business. Goodbye."_

I quit the chat, logging off completely. I ran my hands through my hair. No, I wasn't thinking of sending a fake text to Freddie saying 'Hey Freddie, I'm breaking up with you. Carly', I'm not that mean and selfish.

I shook my head. I unlocked the bathroom door and went back into the studio, putting my laptop back. I stood at the top of the stairs again and waited for Carly to get home, because then it would be safe to go back downstairs. Having the dork and me alone in the same room is dangerous.

"We're back!" called Spencer, coming through the door with Carly. I came downstairs.

"Both of you alive?" said Carly, looking between Freddie sitting on the couch and me standing on the stairs.

"Yep," we both said.

"No injuries?" she asked.

"Nope," said Freddie, but I remained silent.

"Sam?" asked Carly, turning to face me.

"No physical injuries," I said. She raised one eyebrow, but brushed it off. Freddie looked guilty.

_I'm sorry, _he mouthed to me. I nodded at him, sitting down on the couch. Carly sat down in between Freddie and me.

"Got any ideas for the next iCarly?" asked Freddie.

"We should probably announce that me and you are dating," said Carly, facing Freddie.

"Yeah, what else?" he asked.

"Should we kiss on camera?" she said excitedly.

"I don't know… maybe…" he said, shrugging.

"Ooh! Let's have a scene were we act out our first date!"

"Carly…"

"We can have like a romantic dinner and then sit under the stars…"

"Carly…"

"And then when the clock strikes midnight, we kiss! How romantic!"

"I'm still here, you know!" I broke in. Carly froze, and turned around.

"Oh… right… sorry…"

"You know what? You two are obviously too involved in your romantic playfulness to care about little old me so I'm just going to leave!" I shouted, standing up.

"Yeah, that would be nice," said Carly. Freddie turned to her, appalled.

"Carly!"

A tear escaped my eye. Freddie saw it.

"Fine! If that's how you really feel, if you care more about your boyfriend that you've barely had for a day more than your best friend that you've had for nearly nine years, fine! Be that way!" I whirled around, leaving Carly's apartment and slamming the door on my way out.

I stopped on in the hall when I remembered I had nowhere to go. I cursed silently, sliding down against the wall.

"Carly, what were you thinking? We're a team, remember? The star, the co-host, and the technical producer! You can't have iCarly without all three, nor can you have normal life without all of them!" I heard Freddie yell.

"Since when have you cared about Sam's feelings?" retorted Carly.

"I've ALWAYS cared about Sam's feelings, for your information!"

"No, you've only cared about me!"

"No! I haven't! You don't know anything about me, Carly Shay!"

"You know what? I don't care. Once I give you the thing that you want most, you'll only care about me and you won't give Sam a second thought," said Carly, her raised voice lowering to a devious one.

"Oh yeah? And what do I want most?" asked Freddie.

"This."

There were a few seconds of silence. Then Carly spoke.

"Your first kiss given to you by Carly Shay," she said. My eyes widened. Did Carly just kiss Freddie?

"No. You fail. My first kiss was given to me by Sam Puckett," said Freddie, surprisingly calm.

"WHAT?!"

"Believe it or not, Carly. but yes, my first kiss was given to me by Sam Puckett the very day that she apologized for revealing that I hadn't had my first kiss on iCarly."

"But… but… why?"

"We both wanted to get our first kisses over with. The answer was a little too obvious. We kissed."

"You know what? We are over! I hate you, Fredward Benson! Get out of my house!"

There was the sound of Carly stomping up the stairs, and the door I was listening to slowly opened. I scrambled to get out of the way. Freddie looked down at me.

"Did you hear all that?" he asked, holding his hand out to help me up. I took it gratefully.

"Yeah. Who would think that Carly could be like that?" I said, my voice shaking.

"I have a feeling she really just faked the whole thing." Whoa. Didn't see that coming.

"What? But didn't she kiss you?"

"It's just a feeling. I'm not entirely sure. Anyway… Sam… come on. You can come into my place," he said, opening the door to his apartment. Mrs. Benson greeted us.

"What happened over there?" she asked. We just shrugged.

"We're not sure," I said.

"Well, I have an emergency call. I've got to go. Freddie, you know the rules. No—"

"I _know_, Mom!" Freddie cut in quickly.

"Good. I'll be back in a few hours," she said and left, leaving Freddie and me alone.

"Rules?" I asked, a smirk coming onto my face. He blushed somewhat.

"It's nothing important," he said.

"All right, I'll let you off this time, dork. I'm just too lazy to try and get it out of you right now," I said. He nodded, and we sat down on the couch next to each other.

"Who would think Carly would be so cruel?" I murmured after a few seconds of silence.

"Well, you saw what she would do to get what she wants. Remember when we wanted to go see that fight and Spencer wouldn't let her?"

"Yeah. She turned into quite the little brat there, I must say."

We were silent for a few minutes, as I waited for Freddie to process all that had happened. I knew it was too much to hope that he might want me now. That was just pretty much impossible. We would all just probably separate now, and iCarly would end. I closed my eyes as they started to sting.

"Sam." I opened my eyes and looked over at Freddie. He held his arms out. Inviting. I smiled, turning and resting my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me, holding me close to him.

"Thank you," I said, letting the tears fall. He leaned his head over on top of mine, and for the first time, I really felt safe.

A beeping noise came from Freddie's pocket. He reached into it with his other hand and pulled it out; he had a text from Carly. I sat up quickly, alert.

_Freddie,_

_I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn't have gotten so mad. We can still be friends, but we don't have to get back together unless you want to. And you probably won't, because of the way I acted, but I'll do whatever you want._

_Carly_

"Well?" I asked, turning to him.

"Well what?" he said.

"Are you going to get back together?" I asked, waiting for the answer 'yes'.

So obviously I was not expecting what he said next.

"No."

I raised both my eyebrows.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I don't love her. I thought I did… but I didn't. I'm sorry for putting you through so much. Sam… we should probably go talk to her," he said. I nodded.

"But first…" he said, pulling me back down on the couch when I got up, "I have to do something."

"What?" I asked. He smiled, and then leaned forward. My eyes widened as I saw what he was doing, and I copied him.

Our lips met for the second time in my life.

Freddie closed his eyes, but like the first time, I kept mine open. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that there was another text on Freddie's phone.

_P.S. I know you like Sam. I read your reply to her email that you were about to send. _

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea that I sent the draft.

_____________________________________________________________

**Well, there it is. I was NOT expecting it to be this long, or this serious. It had started out as a simple idea that was just with the draft. Sam would send it, Freddie would reply just basically saying I love you too, and it would end, but then a new idea just sprung up out of nowhere… and now it's super long. Nature, I hope you like it! Review please, everyone!**


	2. IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE

HUGELY IMPORTANT NOTICE: I have a new account now, the pen name is Jade Ferral, and all new stories will be done there, NOT HERE. NOT HERE AT ALL. EVER AGAIN. Colliding Worlds, if it ever continues, will also be done now with that account. JADE FERRAL. It has a picture of a kitten. Or, at least it will, when the 24 hour thing is up and I can upload an avatar. I have a new Seddie story idea in my head that will begin by July at the latest, but on THAT ACCOUNT. So anyone following this account GO FOLLOW THAT ONE INSTEAD. GO. NOW.


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